Christmas 1993, I was given large sheets of manuscript paper. My desire was to cover it with music and not be scared.
too scared to let my heart speak
I have no trust I know the truth
The paper was so empty and smooth. Before I wrote a sound, I wrote leaning on the ironing board near the piano, ‘ironing board, not wanting to press away wishes’
I had no real grasp of what I knew., I just seemed to know what the next note had to be.
Creativity
is about
reaching
deep inside
The human being, the YOU
My diaries were evolving to embrace this same process. Telling my story and being myself was my resolve.
Tell the truth
To yourself
I knew I had to make decisions and make changes. I’ve travelled a long path to be able to say, ‘I’m not too scared.’ I have unearthed diaries and deciphered music manuscripts to make ‘flowers’.
I chose the title ‘flowers’ from one of my poems and because flowers are given at times of grief, suffering, respect, celebration and love. Flowers are beautiful, colourful and healing and we all need them.
I offer up ‘flowers’ hoping my sharing is meaningful to you,
Rosalyn
reaching out
to my destiny
because I have been
empowered
by love
by making decisions
by knowing I have been through such difficulties
many entirely of my own making
because I have had no sense of myself
and I now have it as my companion.
October 2003*
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